Goodwill had found its' way back into my heart!

First, I would like to start with something totally unrelated to the rest of this little post. I am now the proud owner of The Pioneer Woman Cooks. Oh boy am I excited! I've used some of Ree Drumand's online recipes before but having the book on hand feels so much better! Yesterday I combined her recipe with some tips from my daddy and my own creativity and made my first batch of home-made chili. This is after my husband informed me that he couldn't believe I had never tried to make him chili before, and I informed him that I can't try to make him anything new because he generally hates everything under the sun. It was a HUGE success, even more so because he didn't eat lunch yesterday. (He'd kill me if he knew I put this up, he's making a silly face.)

Oookay so now on to Goodwill :] A little bit of a back story- my Gramma back in Texas has been doing mosaic projects for a while now. She takes old china plates, smashes them up, and plasters them onto mostly crosses but other things, too. So I've been thinking about picking up the hobby lately and stopped by Goodwill, now that there's one just down the street from us. I didn't find anything that made me want to mosaic, but I did find some great deals for things that I have been looking for for our kitchen. I got a big beautiful serving bowl for $2, a handful of pie dishes for $1 each and a gravy boat for $.99! ( I realize the tag says 1.99 but the receipt begs to differ). I was especially excited about the gravy boat, partially because I've been looking for one for a while for the right price, I'm not sure what my obsession is but I am so glad I finally got it! Secondly, the Macy's tag was still on for 7.99! That's always a good reason!

Finally, I took the dogs for a walk around the complex today (go me, my ankle is only slightly sore!) and they are still exhausted! But I snatched some pretty cute pictures of them relaxing afterwards :]

Looks like I have a pretty easy day ahead of me with the girls so pooped!

Re-uniting with my blog.

Weeeeell, it certainly has been a while. I was all set up to enjoy some time with my hubby when he got home, and then blog all about it, and it just never happened. I guess I don't have the dedication that I should, but that doesn't change that I enjoy blogging, and am going to try once again to get back into it. This is the longest I've been away, so maybe I'll stick around this time.

So, just to catch you up to speed, Hubbers is home. He flew in and we were finally reunited at the terminal, surrounded by only one other couple from the ship and a whole bunch of pissed of passengers because flights had been delayed all day. His flight in particular was, I believe, delayed for 3-4 hours from landing, but of course when I saw his face again it didn't matter to me.

It felt like he was never gone. We came home together and spent some alone time together. When the puppies saw him again, oh lord. Bailey was so happy. Willow was a little bit reluctant, but it still didn't take her long to catch up and become attached at the hip. After a few hours of one on one time, we were up and at 'em, out and about at the mall, like it was any other day.

We were lucky enough to be able to buy a new car, and drive it home to Texas. This was truly a great experience because we needed to still have the bonding time we never got with each other's families and it went wonderfully. We split our time between his sisters and my parents and we were so devastated to leave.

Spending time with the kids back home certainly gave us both some family fever. That didn't last long though, after a dermatologist (of all people, after months of me complaining something wasn't right to other doctors) diagnosed me with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I don't feel doomed, I know that I could have something much worse and I know that lots of people don't have problems at all with PCOS. I try to tell myself the reason my body isn't doing what it needs to do to have children right now (ie. having periods, ect) is because we aren't ready yet. Regardless, though, I am on the pill, as well as a diabetes medication called Metformin that is often prescribed to patients with PCOS, and am on a healthier diet and exercise routine to try to get my body where it needs to be to one day make beautiful baybays.

However, the exercise part is on hold. Though we have moved into a new apartment with a fitness center, next to a park where I could walk the dogs, and where just taking them around the complex was a walk of a mile each way and good for all of us. Buuuut being my ole' clumsy self, four days into living here, I fell and sprained my ankle something fierce. It's been exactly two weeks and though I'm off the pain meds and the crutches, it's still wrapped, being iced, and has a nice flesh wound from the fall right on my big toe :(. But hopefully I can ease it into being able to do longer walks and maybe a bit of jogging soon!

I suppose that for now that's a good summary of everything going on in our life. I hope that I'll be back on the regular to keep writing and sharing our little story with everyone.

I'll leave you with a picture of my big ole puppies :]

A little miracle.

Okay okay, it's safe to say I'm no stranger to baby fever. But I have to share the latest little addition to my life, that's thrown me back into the fever 100%.

Over the last couple of months, I've formed some strong friendships with some of my other Pele-wives (wives who's husbands are deployed along with mine). I'm still amazed at how strong of a bond people can create in times like these. Its like you get to a certain point where you just know whether or not you can really be friends with someone within five minutes of meeting them. And from that point on your friendship is unconditional, and you truly care for them.

One of my new, amazing friends was about 7 mos. pregnant when we met. She's had a high risk pregnancy, and from the moment we met I felt like I was along for the ride. This last week, the big day came. After about a week of back-contractions, she was finally admitted to labor and delivery. It was my job, until she had access to her blackberry, to inform her husband of what was going on. So here I was, up all night emailing a man I never me, but feel like I really know, telling him that his baby was soon to be born. Another phenomena that I can't quite grasp.

Finally it was time to push. Rules for the delivery room were kind of hazy, so to be safe I just stepped out into the waiting room. I heard she did so good pushing. It was amazing. I left the room, and there she was, pregnant and honestly quite miserable, so ready to be a mom, but still just an expectant wife. And then, an hour later, I walked into the room and she was a mother, with the most beautiful little boy. A little boy with the face of his father, and the smallest little cry I've ever heard. He's perfect. He is a miracle and I feel as though the fact that he so much has the features of his father that I about lost it when I saw their pictures next to eachother is a gift in itself. Here there is a man who has never met his son (though he's so proud you'd never know that) and a woman who misses her husband, father of her little boy so much words can't describe it, and now every day, when she looks down at that little man, she'll see her husband, in more ways than one. What an amazing world we live in! And how in love with him am I? Oh I can't even tell you.

I just wanted to take the time to comment on this miracle that I witnessed, from the journey to the final destination. I cannot wait to see that family together finally, because it will truly be the best part of homecoming, to see that sort of happiness.

Wow...it's been a while...again.

Hello bloggy world. I'm back...again. Let's see if this time I can stick around for a while. I guess the simple fact of the matter is that my life and my emotions have been all over the place. I'll try to get everything in some sort of order and catch you up as well as possible. :]

Deployment::

Well a lot of stuff has happened as far as deployment goes. Lots of firsts! I went through my first "Rivercity"- or lack of communication. It was different for every department but I went about two weeks without talking to my hubbers. I try so hard not to complain about things that go on during deployment because I know I'm not alone, and I know that it could be worse, but I do stick by the fact that this is my first rodeo and I'm feeling all of this for the first time. It was a wierd thing, not being able to talk to him. Plainly, it sucked, but I can also say that the first email I recieved from him had me literally jumping up and down and that was a great feeling. There have also been about ten million changes in the homecoming date. I think I finally hit that point that, the way I understand, everyone hits at some point. For a week or two I just felt like I couldn't deal anymore. On the homefront it was one thing after another, and while I wouldn't use the word depressed to describe how I felt, it was close. There was a lot of self-contemplation during that time, and while I still somedays feel like I'm in that slump, I'm doing a lot better now. I have to thank my amazing, supportive parents, and my Pele-wives for being there to get me through my rough patch. I could not have done it alone, that's for sure. Of course I owe a lot to my husband- he's been amazing. Distance makes the heart grow fonder- and that's a damn fact.

The dogs::

Well Willow is such a calm puppy now that she's a big sister. She's now officially 15 months old (she was born on our wedding day!) and maintaining her girlish figure at 11.5 lbs. Bailey, however, is going crazy and giving me trouble left and right, but is still a joy to have in the house. She's getting better as far as behavior, it just takes time. She's a whopping 15.4 lbs at8 months old, and she knows she's bigger than her sister. Poor Willow.

School::

Well I barely scraped by in my last two classes, with so much going on I just had a hard time. I don't feel too bad, though, I've made A's in all my classes up until now and I'll have the chance to step up my game next time around. I also went through a tough time mentally. Since I was a little girl, I knew what I wanted to do. The plan was to do 4 yrs at Texas State, graduate with a Bachelor's in Elementary Education, teach for a few years, get married, and have kids. But instead I started Texas state, met Hubbers, dropped out halfway through my second semester due to health problems, got married, moved to California and started online classes. I never went through that phase of not knowing what to do with my life. Until a few months ago. I'm torn between being a housewife, and eventually stay at home mother, and actually persuing a career in, well not teaching anymore, but paraprofessional education. I was also out of funds and stressed beyond belief. So I decided to take a break and take some time for myself. The other day, though, I received a letter of financial aid, some grants to cover at least two more rounds of classes. So I've decided to do two classes now, take a break when Hubbers gets home, and then take the other two. I'll go from there but why not get the education I can now. Especially when I need something to fill my days until he comes home, and am managing my stress much better.

On a random note, I have something exciting to share! I can't be to specific, but I can tell you that right now we are hovering around being half way through deployment! I never thought I'd make it this far, and now I know that he'll be home before I know it!

Anyways, that's about all I can think of to catch up on. Hopefully I'll be spending more time on here again!!

(( I just love this picture to sign off with!))

What keeps me going on nights like tonight

So my computer, as of late, has been temperamental at best. I've discovered that HP's have a lifespan of about a year before one thing or another starts to crap out on you. For me, my battery has like zero charging power, my computer overheats and thus causes monitor problems as well as freezing and other various issues. So in the interest of backing up my info in an affordable manner, I'm going to put everything on flash drives, just in case. But there's no use in transferring stuff I don't need anymore, so I'm going through and getting rid of all the junk. I told you that to tell you this.

I'm going through all these photos, and of course a lot of them are getting to me tonight, memories I've made int he last year with my wonderful husband, the man I won't be seeing for a while. Strangely, this one is one that has really struck a chord.

This is freakin' adorable is it not? But it was about to get deleted, because as adorable as my little Willow-Pillow is, I have about a million pics of her doing stuff like this. And then when the little verification box popped up and blocked out my puppy's face, all I could see was that chunk of Hubbs' face that made it in the picture. And I saw his eyes. The way he's looking at me in this picture still stops me in my tracks.

I remember one night when we first started dating, we stayed at his sister's house for a game/movie night. His sister fell asleep on the couch, and the boys went out to talk. I headed to the bedroom we'd be staying in and started getting ready for sleep, putting on my PJ's and finding a movie to watch. My new boyfriend came in the room to let me know he'd only be a few more minutes, he and his sister's boy were having a really good talk. So I of course told him that was fine, I'd put in a movie and go ahead and go to sleep. I'm putting the movie in, and I turn around to reach for the remote and see him there still, standing in the doorway, just looking at me. With that very look in his eyes. When I ask if he's okay, he just says "Yeah, I just wanted to look at you for a few more seconds. I'm so lucky."

And on nights like tonight, I try to stick to one of my favorite quotes, and focus on what keeps me and Hubbs together, rather than what separates us. Those moments are what brought us together, they are the moments in which I feel like all is well in the world, and small moments that I swear I will never forget.

I guess I didn't need to share that, but I feel like it's important to notice little things like that. Like that is God's way of going "Hey, don't forget, everything is gonna be okay".

MilSpouse Friday Fill-in

This morning, the first blog I read was a fellow blogger participating in this cute little even to get to know other mil-spouses. It looks like a great idea, so here it goes. If you want to parcicipate, simply fill out the questions and link it back to the original blog at Wife of a Sailor. Happy blogging!

1. Besides the horizontal mambo, what do you miss most when your spouse is deployed?

Well I don't know if I can say I miss this the most, because I miss so many things. But I miss our random little outings to Wal Mart, downtown, or the mall, just to get out of the house and be in public.



2. What do you miss least?

I do not miss Wrestling every night. I don't mind it once a week but I haaaaaaate it every night.



3. You only get three crayons to finish your picture… which three do you choose and why?

I use violet, simply because it's gorgeous, yellow because it is bright and sunshiney, and navy blue because it balances everything out.



4. If you could have your own fragrance, what would it be called?

Hm...I don't know. Probably something like simple housewife, with light floral fragrances that add just a touch of femeninity to hard working woman.



5. If the shoes make the man (or woman), what do your shoes say about you right now?

Well the moment I'm in bed with a cold shoeless, so it means I am laid back? Ha ordinarily my flip-flops say I'm practical and fun, as well as simple.

Starting Over

Hello bloggy world. I have missed you. To put it simply, I just haven't known what to say, or how to say it. But now I am back, I have a lot on my mind and with any luck, you and I can start a new, stronger relationship. So nice to be near you again.

So this is my current big dilemma. School. I have been taking classes online for about a year now, with a break somewhere in there when I was transferring schools. At this point, there are a lot of things causing my problem here. Mostly internal. Firstly, I am more than likely going to fail my education class. I'm going to school for elementary education, it's all I have ever wanted to go to school for. And I love finally taking classes that apply to my major. Problem is, I'm not really interested in the class. I'm not even sure if I'm interested in my major. All my life I wanted to be a teacher but now I'm just not sure of it anymore. And when you don't know if what you're doing even applies to your future, it's hard to stay focused. My heart isn't in it right now. And that raises a whole new set of questions.

The only thing I see clearly right now is being with my amazing husband for the rest of my life, and having a family with him someday. Ideally, I see myself in big dining room, with a huge table, dogs running around the floor, two little kids at the table, construction paper, childproof scissors, paste and glitter strung about the room. I want to take my kids to the park in the fall, all in our cozy little sweaters, and come home and make a stew for my husband when he comes home from a long day on the ship. I want to have bath and story time, tuck my kids in, and curl up in front of the TV with Hubbs. I want that to be my every day, because I just can't think of it getting any better than that.

But what if one day that's not what I want anymore. What if I want to drop my kids off at daycare, head to school, teach math and language arts, watch recess and then come home to my own little angels, cook up a quick dinner, put the kids to bed and go to sleep. What if I HAVE to work, because we just can't hack it being a one income family anymore? What if that happens and minimum wage won't do, and I have no degree to fall back on. Life is full of what if's, isn't it? How do you decide which ones are important?

I don't know what to do right now. So after a lot of thinking and a chat with my amazing friend Emily, I think that I at least need to take a break. Be it a few weeks, a few months, or until my husband comes home, I need to step away from the situation. I need to make decisions without deadlines. I need to make choices for myself and my family, not so much for what is expected or what might need to happen for one reason or another. Has anyone else dealt with the hanging question of whether or not to continue your education? Why did you choose what you did? Do you think you made the right choice?