Starting Over

Hello bloggy world. I have missed you. To put it simply, I just haven't known what to say, or how to say it. But now I am back, I have a lot on my mind and with any luck, you and I can start a new, stronger relationship. So nice to be near you again.

So this is my current big dilemma. School. I have been taking classes online for about a year now, with a break somewhere in there when I was transferring schools. At this point, there are a lot of things causing my problem here. Mostly internal. Firstly, I am more than likely going to fail my education class. I'm going to school for elementary education, it's all I have ever wanted to go to school for. And I love finally taking classes that apply to my major. Problem is, I'm not really interested in the class. I'm not even sure if I'm interested in my major. All my life I wanted to be a teacher but now I'm just not sure of it anymore. And when you don't know if what you're doing even applies to your future, it's hard to stay focused. My heart isn't in it right now. And that raises a whole new set of questions.

The only thing I see clearly right now is being with my amazing husband for the rest of my life, and having a family with him someday. Ideally, I see myself in big dining room, with a huge table, dogs running around the floor, two little kids at the table, construction paper, childproof scissors, paste and glitter strung about the room. I want to take my kids to the park in the fall, all in our cozy little sweaters, and come home and make a stew for my husband when he comes home from a long day on the ship. I want to have bath and story time, tuck my kids in, and curl up in front of the TV with Hubbs. I want that to be my every day, because I just can't think of it getting any better than that.

But what if one day that's not what I want anymore. What if I want to drop my kids off at daycare, head to school, teach math and language arts, watch recess and then come home to my own little angels, cook up a quick dinner, put the kids to bed and go to sleep. What if I HAVE to work, because we just can't hack it being a one income family anymore? What if that happens and minimum wage won't do, and I have no degree to fall back on. Life is full of what if's, isn't it? How do you decide which ones are important?

I don't know what to do right now. So after a lot of thinking and a chat with my amazing friend Emily, I think that I at least need to take a break. Be it a few weeks, a few months, or until my husband comes home, I need to step away from the situation. I need to make decisions without deadlines. I need to make choices for myself and my family, not so much for what is expected or what might need to happen for one reason or another. Has anyone else dealt with the hanging question of whether or not to continue your education? Why did you choose what you did? Do you think you made the right choice?

My parents' visit...way late!

Mom, Dad and I had a great visit! I truly loved having them here and am one of those freaks that wouldn't mind them living within a mile radius of us. They did, however, have to go home eventually. We did so much that I"m not sure I can recap it all, so thank goodness for pictures. I will try to do things as chronologically as possible.

Dad said they needed a picture here to prove they were in San Diego. Little did he know we'd see a lot of things that were unique to the area!

Some really sweet older women offered to take our picture as we walked the bay at Seaport Village. What's crazy is that these women were in San Diego by mistake. They were on a flight to Florida for vacation that got canceled. The airline put them on a flight for the next day, paying for their hotel room in San Diego and offering a day of sight seeing, and extending their Florida trip for two extra days!!

Of course the dogs got in a trip to the beach.

Yeah...Bailey just loves the public eye.

We all had a great time, God knows how long it's been since Momma and Daddy hit the beach.

We spent nearly a whole day at the USS Midway. It was actually really informative and entertaining. Trying to think about people 40 years ago, working in every space we saw, reminded me to think about Hubbers, sleeping in his rack, working around the ship. I also learned a lot about what he does on his ship, which is nearly as large as the Midway.

Of course there had to be pics in all the planes and helos.

We spent the first part of my birthday down at Belmont Park, on the Mission Beach boardwalk with the Harvey family. We had such a good time, and the place was really relaxed. My favorite part was taking my godson Jude on his first carousel ride!

Birthday dinner at my favorite resturaunt, BJ's. The big 2-0 haha!

Besties Frank and Emily of course had to join us!

The big finale to the trip was the Harbor Excursion. We did a two-hour boat ride that took us up to the northern and southern-most points of the San Diego bay. It was really informative and just a lovely time. But something beautiful happened on that Harbor Excursion, also.

I have read a lot of stories about Military Spouses. The prideful moments they feel when some stranger buys them dinner, or randomly comes up and thanks them for their family's sacrifices. Of course I never expect to experience these things, they happen spontaniously and are beautiful moments, but not for all to share. And I am perfectly okay with that. However, I did share a moment similar to that.

My dad is a motorcycle finatic. On the second leg of the tour, he noticed a man in a shirt from a Harley shop in Australia. On my birthday, Hubbers' ship arrived in Australia for a four day port visit. My dad started making conversation, the people asked about what Hubbers does and how proud I must be.

They even took a picture with me.

Then, as the boat stopped and people started to unload, the man put on that sweater tied around his waist, came over, shook my hand, kissed my cheek, and handed me the shirt he is wearing in this picture. He said how lovely it was to meet me, that I should enjoy the next ride I have with my dad, and that he hoped this shirt made me feel closer to my husband. I shook his hand and thanked him over and over, and he just said "No worries, mate". What a wonderful experience! I definitely classify this as one of those once in a lifetime moments of thankfulness, kindness and pride.

If any other milspouses are reading this, do you have a similar story to share?

A good way to return to blogging, hopefully! 1 year in La Mesa!

So if you follow The Longley's in San Diego, you know that July 7th was their apartment-aversarry! Well, we met because we live in the same complex, and we moved in only days after they did. Actually, our first encounter was Emily's husband Frank helping us move furniture from our Uhaul to our apartment. So tomorrow is our apartment-aversarry! When we got married, we had "planned" (I knew it wouldn't work out and was only a matter of time before we changed our minds) to stay with a family that hubbers lived with for some time before we met. Well in a nutshell, personalities start clashing when a married couple lives with a family of four. So in a matter of two days, we applied for our apartment, took out an advance on our BAH and moved from Santee, Ca to La Mesa, Ca. We'd been referred to the complex by then-friends, and we in love with our first apartment. Here's a little list of things we've gone through since then.

• Moving AGAIN from a two bedroom to a one bedroom
• Getting "adult" furniture
• Months and months of week-long underways
• A sprained ankle
• What I still swear MUST have been swine flu
• Some trials and tribulations with friendships
• Adopting both our baby girls :]
• Making some really amazing friends
• Moving AAGGAAIINN to a two bedroom from a one bedroom

And I can't even list everything else. Needless to say we have grown and changed a lot, and getting our own apartment was a big life changing event. At times I wish we'd sucked it up and stayed with the family, but now I know we made the right decision.

And hopefully this blog will stand as a good little taste of getting back into blogging, because lord knows I have plenty of things to say!

An Award?! Yes please!!

So I was casually reading my comments today on my last post, and I got another lovely comment from one of my favorite bloggers, A Marine's Wife at Flip Flops and Combat Boots. After commenting on my blog, there was a little sentence at the end that said "I have an award for you over at my blog". EEP! First one haha. So this is called the Sugar Doll award. To accept the award, you write ten things about yourself and then give the award to ten other bloggers. So here is my ten things, and then there will be my list of award winners!

1. I treat my dogs, Willow and Bailey, like children. I talk to them all the time and cuddle them like babies. I refuse, however, to dress them unless it is cold and they need a sweater.
2. I am never satisfied with how my apartment looks. I always think there is room for improvement.
3. I'm big about smells in a home. I don't care too too much about other people's houses, but I can't stand a little stink in my house and have air fresheners, carpet cleaner, fabric freshener, reed diffusers, candles and plug ins on hand pretty much all the time.
4. During the week when I'm home, I pretty much stick the TV on TBS all day because I love Saved by the Bell, According to Jim, Home Improvement, House of Payne and all the other cute shows that come one that nobody watches haha.
5. The only reason my dishes get done is because my husband is usually on my a** to do them. Without him home it's VERY hard to get motivated enough to get them done.
6. I'm fairly obsessed with Italian food of any kind.
7. I never thought I would be a military wife, nor did I see myself married at 18, living in San Diego, playing the housewife role...and loving every second of it.
8. I now truly believe that deployment is just another bump in the road- one that we can get through without a doubt!
9. I'm really lucky to have the most supportive parents a person could ask for, and I love that my husband loves them and vice versa. 
10. I am so proud of myself for finally doing something about being a weight that digusts me! 

So now to pass it on!!

• Emily @ The Longley's in San Diego
• Samantha @ Navy Doll
• Mrs. Gambizzle @ Life as a Sailor's Girl
• Michelle @ The Girl Can't Help It
• Mrs. G.I. Joe @ ACU's, Stiletto Shoes, and Pretty Pink Tutus
• The Sawyer Bunch @ Confessions of a Sailor's Wife
• Hellcat Betty @ Hellcat Betty
• The Mrs. @ Mr, Mrs, & Little Miss
• Jennifer @ My Sailors Mistress
• Wife on the Roller coaster @ Riding the Roller Coaster

FRG

So this afternoon I was able to attend my first FRG (Family Readiness Group) meeting! It was the second meeting all together, but many of our first chances to attend. I was a bit nervous because I know so many of them either have children or are expecting. I love kids, and pregnant people (ha!) but I didn't want to be the only 19 year old childless person. Still, I think I was, however there were other women a few years older than me that didn't have children. Regardless, the kids were all really entertaining and not those annoying, disruptive, needing to be the center of everything sort of children. There was a craft table and they could all make fathers day frames, cards, or other gifts. Then they took pictures to send to their daddies on the ship. It was wonderful to see everyone keeping on and enjoying the day.

We talked about a lot of the resources available to us as military spouses. We also talked about a needs tree, where we can all put our needs or services together and help one another out. They are putting together a softball team, doing a few bbqs and raffles, and a group baby shower.

There were some wonderful women there and I'm really looking forward to getting to know more of them.

One of the women is a crafty one (she may be my favorite ha!) and she brought a camera to take some pictures. They set up a little area with a flag and boots and took photos. One of the women brought a set of coveralls and the kids were able to dress up and hold little flags. I'm going to ask if I can borrow a picture to post on here, but I may forget, so don't hold your breath. After another of the girls (the only one I'd actually had conversation with prior to the meeting), took a picture just herself to send to her hubby, I decided to do the same. I was really happy with how it turned out!!

If I get to a weight I feel comfortable with, I'd love to do some sort of patriotic pin-up style modeling! Hopes and dreams, people, hopes and dreams haha.

On another note, my mommy and daddy are coming to visit this week! There will be lots of pictures and updates! I swear to be a better blogger now that I'm taking an itty bitty break from work haha.

Thursday Five

It's that amazing day of the week, where I look back to what helped me get through the week!

Target giftcards coming in the mail literally minutes after I fell in love with shoes in the store!

My momma's strawberry pretzel desert

Nancy's Taco Shop around the corner- a taco shop that is comparable to Mr. Taco, the most amazing mexican food in my home town.

Meeting new friends and spending hours at Starbucks just chatting.

Ending a phase of life along with a job, knowing that everyone involved will be better for it.

Time again for that wonderful day of the week that the Mannland5 convinces up to stop, and look at all those wonderful, beautiful, enlightening experiences life throws at us every week.

Here are mine :]

1. I accidentaly bought an extra lamp for the spare bedroom before I found that we had one, and this spare lamp is now the sole lighting in my living/dining area after a rambunctious 10 mo old destroyed my other one.
2. I have discovered that lean ground turkey can be insanely tasty when seasoned correctly.
3. I have lost FOUR pounds since starting the gym two weeks ago!
4. After growing up, moving out, starting my own life, and taking on new responsibilities- I can still call my mommy and vent at the end of a bad day.
5. I reconnected with an old aquantence that just might become a great friend!

So it's your turn to stop and think about the good things in what may be a rough week!!