Miss Bailey Rae

Hubbers and I have officially added a member to our family! It was quick, easy, and the whole process took about twenty minutes (and it only took that long because the lady we got her from had a lot to say!). Yes, it's true, we are now proud parents to a puggle. For those of you who don't know, (I didn't until I moved to California), puggles are pug-beagle mixes. Her parents are 15 and 20 pounds, so her adult size should be just right four our family.

I think she is absolutely adorable!

It didn't take Willow long at all to feel comfortable with her new baby sister.

We were not sure what her temperament would be when we went to see her and I was worried that she would be shy at first and Willow might be too high-energy for her to handle. As soon as we saw her in the front yard, we noticed her little body hopping up and down in the high grass. While I talked to the lady about what she eats and other details, Hubbers ran around in the yard with her. She's so adventurous, and not scared of a thing. She didn't wine in the car, she wasn't nervous to meet new people, and she thinks she owns everything in sight.

The first place we went after getting some supplies was to Frank and Emily's. I was hesitant to let her in the same area as their cocker-beagle mixes, but it went so well! Right off the back Bailey was running around, attacking them like there wasn't a size difference at all. Man was I impressed! Willow was a bit hesitant, she's never played with a smaller dog, but she was all for trying just as soon as they met. Of course Willow is adjusting to having a housemate, but so far things are lovely. We couldn't be happier with our little family.

Nothing is ever perfect. It is what you make of it.

Emily Giffin.



Sometimes I feel like a different character. I've always seen myself in a certain light; low and average. But I'm not always a married woman, a housewife, taking classes, working, going out with my dog and going to bed with my husband every night.


Sometimes, often for weeks at a time, I feel like a woman in the city, making her way through life with a twist. I feel like I'm having some affair with a spoken for man. He is attached to some high society, classy but careless woman, and I am his mistress. Her eyes are everywhere and yet we manage to stay a secret, sneaking around in the shadows, unseen. By daylight everything seems average. I wake up, I work, I clean, I make dinner. At night I go to bed, sheets made from the morning, my dog curled up on one side as I crack open a book on the other. In the morning, it all starts again.

And then, on rare occasion, I have a great secret to await. Some night late in the week, I become anxious. I hurriedly clean the whole house, mopping, scrubbing, dusting every nook and cranny. Then it's my turn. I shower, shave my legs, pluck my brows. Moisturize, file my nails, pick out the perfect outfit- but I don't put it on until I get the phone call. I don't leave the house. I sit. And I wait. My dog lays on my lap, keeping me company, while she herself awaits his arrival. We are like a second family, that this great woman knows nothing about. And then the phone rings. It's finally my turn.

Times like this, nothing is small. Petty things are so much more insignificant. We could lay in bed all day talking or watching movies or reading, and it is epic, because we are finally together and alone, unseen. We are so anxious to spend every moment that we have completely in love with each other that we ignore phone calls, we skip fancy dinners or weekend getaways. Being together is our get away. And we dread the moment it ends.

And then again, it's time to say goodbye. Late at night, he packs his things, a duffel bag only, because that is all the time we had together in the first place. I hold back tears every time I see him ready to go. He comes to bed for one last night, and even my bed seems less plush, sad that once again, it will only be the dog and I cuddling every evening. This night is always so bittersweet.

Early in the morning, he wakes up, he softly kisses me goodbye and gently closes the door behind him. I can only go back to sleep so not to miss him. But I will wake up later, feeling refreshed. I don't make the bed this first morning, to preserve our night together and feel like he is coming back to me sooner than he really is. I go about my day, back into reality, back to my routine, back to these happy days and lonely evenings.

Affairs are always so looked down upon. But this one doesn't feel the same. I am content with my life, sometimes alone, here in an apartment far from any place I ever knew before, patiently waiting for the sea to let my husband come home. Loving when she does. Embracing in every moment together, knowing soon he'll be gone again.
 
 
 
 
This weekend marks the beginning of the longest span of consequetive nights I will have spend with Hubbers since October. I could not be more excited to have him coming home to me for a while.

Joy runs deeper than despair.

(Corrie Ten Boom)

The quote has nothing to do with my post really, but I always have trouble thinking of names for my blogs, so I'm thinking about just using a cool quote to start every one of them off. We'll see how long that sticks.

There are two things that I want to talk about in this post. Firstly, facing my fears. Fears of driving. Once, long long ago, I was a young, independent college girl who took care of my direct needs all by myself. I worked, went to school, and stayed with my parents as often as possible, and I DROVE myself everywhere. Then, I got married and moved to San Diego with me loverly Hubbers. Hubbers has had his truck since 2007 I believe, and it's kind of his baby. That doesn't bother me at all. But as time went on that kind of hindered my confidence on the road. I went so long without driving that when I had to start taking Hubbers to base when he went out to sea, I had to go about an hour early- to be sure I was the only care on the interstate. When we drove home for the holidays, I thought I'd have an actual panic attack in El Paso. When Hubbers drives, sometimes I spend the whole ride gripping the "oh shit' bars and closing my eyes. It's that bad.
But, this morning, I had to go to El Cajon to pick something up. We live in La Mesa, and to get to El Cajon, you pretty much hop on I-8 and take it all the way there. All interstate. The interstate that scares the crap out of me. But it had to be done, and let me tell you, I feel like I have been scared for no reason at all. It was a peice of cake. Maybe it's Hubbers' driving that scares me haha. The feeling I got when I made it to my destination was so much stronger than I expected. I had this wave of satisfaction. I finally feel like I'm in control again- I'm literally in the drivers seat now. I have no problem sharing that seat with my husband, but to be able to take it on myself is something I didn't know I was missing. My confidence level shot up in that half hour. Yay me!!

Secondly, I want to mention what it is I had to go pick up. My prince, my Hubbers, got me a new wedding ring set. I love my old one, of course. It's the one he put on my finger the day we said "I do". But one diamond has already fallen out. And the beast from our past (the woman we lived with when we got married, mother in the family he lived with for  years) is the one that actually picked it out. This new set is so special because Hubbers went to finish some paper work, while I stayed home waiting to sell our old couch- and he came home with the ring. I love that he still does things like that. He handed me be Kay's bag, so casually, which was almost sad because I was hoping he'd have a romantic gesture in mind. But then, the box was empty, and he came up behind me, slipping the ring on my finger.
Last Saturday, he came home early in the morning from duty and told me to get ready to go to the zoo. I know he wasn't excited about the trip but he knew I wanted to go before deployment, and he made it happen. That's not the best part. When I told him first we'd have to get online and see what time the zoo opened, and how much my ticket would be (he gets in free, that lucky man), he already knew. I know it's silly that that's what made my day. But he spent the night before looking it up at work, planning our day so that he could come home and surprise me. Things like that make me so happy. I told him that- that that's what was so important, because it's lovely to know that he still thinks of me even when he's not actually with me. It's a comforting thought before this long seperation from eachother.

Anyways, here are some pictures from the zoo. Only a few of the many I took.

I know the picture above looks like a shitty, random picture, but it's actually amazing, because the panda was nursing as we walked through the exhibit!!

And of course, the ring!

Things are coming together

Well this blog has no actual significance, but it's something I'm happy about so I'm going to share.
When we first moved into our apartment complex, we loved it because it was a way out of our old living arrangements, which desperately needed to change! We started in a 2 bedroom apartment, with furniture we found on Craigslist or the cheapest stuff we could find at Wal Mart. I loved our first couch, it was sooo comfy and a pretty shade of brown, but for some reason Hubbers and I decided we should sell it to buy our friends' old couch. (This was all Hubbers' idea, but I don't like to point fingers). Eventually, we were tight on money and needed to downgrade. We couldn't find another complex with lower rent, so we switched to a 1 bedroom in the same complex. I wish we hadn't. If it weren't for the physical act of moving all our things, I'd beg Hubbers to switch back to a 2 bedroom. The layout in this place is FUNKY. And our particular apartment, definitely did not get the attention it needed after the last tenants. So for the longest time, I've hated it here. Nothing seemed to work and I just wanted out.

I don't feel that way anymore. It guess it's true that what is in the home is what makes it. I didn't feel that I had a comfy place I like to spend time with my family. After some upgrades, slowly through the months, Hubbers and I have really turned this place into a cozy home that fits us. It's safe to say I'm happy where I live. Here are some pics.

A Mother is the Truest Friend We Have (this one's for the ladies)

Today, my mommy had her first ever surgery. A week ago today, she had some stomach cramps and a fever. She went home early from work and didn't feel better the next day. My dad says he knew then that it was more than the flu. Sunday, when he called me, I knew that something was wrong. As casual and calm as my daddy tries to be in my presence, I read him like a book. He'd taken my mom to the ER (my mother has never been in the hospital, my entire life. When she had me, her stay lasted a long 13 hours.) and they drew blood to find infection. They did some sort of MRI or CT scan or something and found a cist. They found cists when I was two and removed them in an outpatient procedure, and back in August of this last year, she was having some cramping and whatnot and they never found this cist. The reason I tell you that is that this cist, since August, has grown to 9 centimeters. It amazes me how quickly these things come to be.

Anyways, they admitted her to the hospital for a few days to run out the infection. She was supposed to go home Wed, but that didn't happen. 12 different anti-biotics didn't work, her white blood cell count was back up, with her fever. After talking, they decided to take out the uterus. So this morning she had a hysterectomy, and explored to make sure that the infection didn't spread anywhere else. The surgery went quickly and problem free.

I'm gratefull that my mommy is ok. She never got sick when I was little, and would wait 19 years, until I move half way across the country to have something this dramatic happen. My dad is in the hospital or ER once a year at least. He's always the one I worry about, I never thought my mom was even capable of catching a cold. I know she's a strong woman, but I know that she was scared, and I know that the pain in the coming days will be some of the worst she's experienced. I know that I really wish I could've been there for her through all this. I guess that's a part of growing up that I never thought about. I never thought I'd even live in a different town than my parents. This was another realization I had to have to come to in my quick bout of being a grown up.

This also makes me scared. I don't know why my momma has had these problems. I know that people go through a lot more than she did, as far as recurring cists and whatnot, but I still have to wonder why she got them. It doesn't seem normal to me. I'm glad they fixed the problem, but I wish they'd look further into the source of the problem.

Hubbers might kill me for saying this, but we really want kids. It's one of the first things that attracted me to him- how he acted with his nephew- and being a mommy is what I've always felt I was put on this earth to do. Of course since we are 19 and 21, we are by no means ready to start our family now. We do, however, want to be young parents. Mike wants to be able to go outside and teach our kids how to play soccer, I want to be able take our kids to Disneyland, and actually still enjoy it myself. I want our kids to have the best years of our lives. If it weren't bad timing, you could hand me a baby, all bundled up, right now, and I'd mother him/her in a heartbeat. We are excited to share our love with a baby some day.

But. I've always thought that there was something wrong with me. I hit puberty early and of course everything about it made me feel like a freak. Just after we got married, the stress of all the changes effected my cycle, and I had my first lady exam. They found cellular changes, which I was told was "no big deal, it SHOULD take care of itself". Now that this has happened with my momma, I have an intense urge to to go the doctor. I'd like to know now, 100% that there is nothing wrong with me. The most devestating things would be to start trying for a family, only to find out we couldn't.

On that note, I've decided that the military treatment facility I was being seen at is no longer suitable. It takes me ages to get an appointment, and I had to research for myself what cellular changes were, because nobody seemed to care to explain it. So sometime next week I will be getting a release form and switching to a local civilian doctor. Woohoo! I'll have an ounce of normalcy in my experience as a military wife!!

Anyways, this blog was to inform some friends about my mommy, and to vent a little bit about my worries and concerns. To end it, here's a picture of my pretty mommy and her first grandson, my brothers little boy.

Mmm cookies!

So my husband is home! For a week and a half ha. But I'm not complaining, I will take what I can get. In celebration of his little homecoming, I decided to make one of his favorites. I picked up a ham, made corn, and roasted garlic potatoes from the For the Love of Cooking. This was actually my first time making mashed potatoes, since we both love instant (bad, I know!) and they turned out really well. Thanks, Emily, for giving me the rest of your taters haha. I also made Chocolate Chip Oreo cookies, from the same site.

I'm also excited to announce that we are getting a new couch!! It's being delivered tomorrow and I will post pictures once our living room is complete. If you know me, you know the couch we currently have is my least favorite thing in the house. It's just a big eyesore, and it's been to hell in back from our friends dog when they had it, our dog, and now the baby that I watch and her fun reflux excersize she decided to try one day. When this couch comes, I will be in heaven!!

More Fiesta Island Pictures and My First Mary Kay Party

Well I got some more pictures from the lovely Emily and decided to put up a few more of Willow at Fiesta Island.

Also, this Monday my good friend Lindsay and I hosted a Mary Kay party at my place. Emily brought cinnamon rolls, you can find them on her blog here.

The Mary Kay party is not anything I ever thought I'd find myself doing but it actually was a lot of fun. I met some sweet girls, and felt pampered.

My San Diego friends can contact Heather Sidhu at MaryKay.com/heathersidhu to order products.

For all my friends back in Texas, you can check out marykay.com, and if you are interested you can contact marie.molchak@hotmail.com. Marie will offer 20% off your first order and free shipping.